Wounded… by a Companion?

“It is not an enemy who taunts me—then I could bear it; it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me—then I could hide from him. But it is you, a man, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend. We used to take sweet counsel together; within God’s house we walked in the throng” (Psalm 55:12-14).

Can there be a wound more harsh than when a trusted companion turns on you? Could any other pain pierce so deeply? Breaking a bone can be excruciating, but the soul-deep wound inflicted by one with whom you’ve walked in love and companionship is far worse.

These words of David paint a vivid picture. If it had been an enemy, “then I could bear it,” he says. But it was not an enemy. It was a friend, “my companion, my familiar friend.” That would, indeed, be a crushing blow. Being on the receiving end of a sword-thrust from someone you trusted is devastating.

I want to challenge you today. As much as we would never want to be on the receiving end of such pain, it is just as important that we never be the givers of such pain either. Guard your heart, and be careful with your words and actions. Don’t slowly — or quickly — become the former companion, turned enemy.

Turning the Other Cheek

Recently, I have heard a couple different people speak of turning the other cheek. Their use of the phrase, though, indicated they really didn’t understand the concept. They used it to suggest that someone who had been wronged should just ignore the wrong and go on. That’s not really the idea.

The whole notion of turning the other cheek came from what we call Jesus’ “Sermon on the Mount.” He said, “If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also” (Matthew 5:39).

Jesus is not suggesting that when someone does us wrong, we should ignore the wrong. Actually, He’s saying to let them go ahead and do more wrong.

The next couple verses give more information. “And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.”

That’s not a simple ignoring of the wrong. It’s a deliberate choice allowing someone to take advantage of you even more than he already has. (It should be noted that there is a qualitative difference between receiving a slap on the cheek or giving a cloak and some sort of serious bodily injury.)

This idea reminds me of the elderly priest in Les Misérables. Jean Valjean, recently released from prison, visited the priest. The cleric fed Valjean and gave him lodging for the night. Valjean returned the favor by stealing his solid silver cutlery. When Valjean was arrested, he was returned to the priest’s home, so the clergyman could identify the man and his property. But the priest told the police that he gave Valjean the cutlery and then declared, “I gave you the candlesticks, too, which are silver like the rest and would bring you two hundred francs. Why didn’t you take them along with your cutlery?” And he thrust the candlesticks into Valjean’s hands.

He was robbed, and he gave the thief more. That’s turning the other cheek.

Active Prayer

I appeal to you, brothers, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to strive together with me in your prayers to God on my behalf (Romans 15:30).

As I read this verse recently, I was struck by the phrase, “strive together with me in your prayers.” This doesn’t sound passive. It actually sounds like work, as though effort needs to be put forth.

For many people, me included at times, prayer can be much too passive. “Let’s have a prayer” is a common phrase in many churches. It’s like the difference between “Let’s have a meal” and “Let’s eat!” One is passive; the other is active. One sounds as though it will just happen. The other requires involvement on our part.

Actually, in the Greek, the words “strive together with” are all one word. The word literally means “to struggle in company with.” Let’s work at this together. Let us, in unity, put forth the necessary effort. Not simply a passive hoping for as we mouth some words, but an honest striving together in asking God to move on our behalf.

Sometimes prayer can be work. It can take effort. It is, however—especially when we strive together—well worth that effort.

“We Need Mentors”

I recently was privileged to attend a small gathering of key people involved in worship. Of the 35 people there, there were folks from 15 different states and two other countries. A lot happened during the two days together. One of the things that struck me the most, though, was the consistent mention by the younger folks of their need for the “fathers,” mentors, those who had been walking in the ways of God for longer. They expressed the absolute necessity of having someone to turn to, someone to learn from. They recognized that they had zeal but they needed wisdom. They were sincere and humble in their desire for relationship with those who were older and more experienced.

It was refreshing to hear such things.

There is too often an attitude among the younger generation that they are self-sufficient. “I’ve got everything I need. I don’t need anyone, especially someone older.”

The humble recognition of these younger leaders that they need fathers/mentors was both exciting and encouraging.

Sweet Words

Proverbs 16:24 says, “Kind words are like honey — sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” (NLT)

Of course this is true; it’s part of God’s Word. But I can attest to it being true experientially, also. How many times have I found new strength in kind, encouraging words? Far too many to count or remember.

I am afraid, however, that even though I mentally know this is true and have many times even experienced the truth of these words, too often I run in the opposite direction. Too frequently my words can be cutting and demeaning.

Some will say that it’s okay. Such words don’t really mean anything. After all, a jovial put-down is merely fun jesting between friends, right? Yet a constant barrage of such cutting remarks can wound even the stoutest warrior.

No one really wants to be the butt of a joke. There is not one of us who wants to hear a steady stream of our failures or shortcomings. But kind words we cherish.

I encourage you today to choose your words very carefully. Make them kind words, sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.

Coincidences

In the book of Acts, Philip is one of the guys chosen to help with food distribution among the disciples in Jerusalem (see Acts 6:1-6). Just a short time later a great persecution began and most of the disciples were scattered.

It was during this dispersion that Philip was directed to, “Rise and go toward the south to the road that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza” (Acts 8:26). There he encountered a man who was reading from Isaiah, the prophet. Philip inquired whether the man understood what he was reading. The man responded that he didn’t understand since he had no one to explain it.

I love the “coincidences” that God sets up. The man happened to be reading, “Like a sheep he was led to the slaughter, and like a lamb before its shearer is silent, so he opens not his mouth…”

Philip could not have asked for a better opportunity to share the gospel. It was wide open door that the Lord had set up.

I have to wonder how frequently we miss “coincidences” in our lives today. Maybe if we make a point to watch for them, we’ll see them more frequently.

Loving

One of my best friends and frequent companions is the Apostle Paul. No, I didn’t actually know him personally, but through his writings he’s become a trusted comrade. I like hanging out with him because I want to be more like him. Paul was not afraid to confront sin. He certainly did not shy away from conflict.

At the same time, though, he was extremely loving and compassionate. As I have been reading through his first letter to the believers at Thessalonica, I am amazed at the way his deep caring comes through.

In describing his previous visit he likens his actions to a “nursing mother taking care of her own children” (2:7). He goes on to refer to the recipients of the letter as “our glory and joy” (2:20). Just a few verses later, he mentions his intense longing to see them and twice says that he “could bear it no longer” (3:1, 5). And just a bit further on, Paul prays for the readers that they “may abound in love for one another and for all, as we do for you” (3:12).

I don’t know many people, especially guys, who talk like that. Outside of close family, we are generally much more guarded with our words and our emotions. And maybe that’s the point. To Paul, these people were family. Not worldly blood-relatives, but closely related nonetheless, through the blood of Christ.

I think his words—and his heart—are good examples for all of us.